Miranda Kerr’s Tit For V Magazine

Miranda Kerr became famous because Orlando Bloom bangs her on a regular basis. Orlando Bloom is famous because he was in that movie with Johnny Depp, before everyone went “For fucking sake, not another movie with Depp as a pirate!”.

 

So in a nutshell, we can see Miranda Kerr’s tit while looking like Cicciolina thanks to Johnny Depp. Sure, she’s not sucking a horse’s dick, but fortunatelly for me, Miranda doesn’t need to golden shower some other broad to give me an erection.

Michelle Trachtenberg In A Bikini

Michelle Trachtenberg was the chick that made us all think pedophilia wasn’t such a bad thing when “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” was on TV. After that stupid show ended, nobody knows what she did. Nobody.

 

So because I need to add content to the site, here she is with a picture of herself showing off her lack of tits. We were hoping for more when you were fifteen, you disappointed us all.

 

Sasha Gray Is Legit Now

The thing about Sasha Grey wasn’t that she was a super hot porn actress; in fact she’s a rather normal looking chick. Sure, she’s exotic looking, but she’s not a bombshell. If you ask me, her only attribute was that she could take cock as if there was no tomorrow. That really was pretty awesome, I can’t remember any other porn star who seemed to love being fucked as much as Sasha (maybe Cytherea, but she’s on a different league)

 

In any case, thanks to Stephen Soderbergh she started a career as a real actress. I have no idea of what these pictures are about, but to be honest she kinda looks cute. If it wasn’t because I’ve seen her asshole ravaged by several cocks and her face covered in cum I’d say I’d date her.

 

Kate Beckinsale In A Bikini Might Be The Best Thing Ever

I’m always trying to prove there is no God because I’m a sodomite or something, and Kate Beckinsale keeps proving it. How the fuck does a guy like Len Wiseman get to grab her ass like this? How? ¬†Fuck you, Len. You hear me? FUCK YOU.

How the fuck does a woman look like that, at that age, when I need to settle for some fat bitch with no teeth!? Why God, why? Fuck you. Here are the pictures.

Tara Reid In A Bikini

Everyone remembers Tara Reid because she was the hot blonde in American Pie; except that the movie feautred Shannon Elizabeth topless, so fuck Tara Reid. She then had a part in that show where the Jewish doctor and his black friend had sex with a dead dog or something like that. “Scurby”, “Grey’s Anathomy”, one of those.

In any case, she later went on to have a lipo and turn her stomach into something that looked like the portal the Avengers needed to shut down in order to save Earth. And they did, because here she is and she doesn’t look that bad. Too Paris Hilton-ish for my taste, but whatever. Pic of Tara in Ibiza wearing a tight bikini.

 

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Lady Gaga Naked For V Magazine

The thing about Lady Gaga is that nobody knows what she is. Acording to these pictures she’s a woman, because there are tits in them; but if there was a penis to be shown, it’s obviously covered by the slick photographer.

My theory is that she’s neither, she’s a lizzard shapped alien who just looks like a human, follows Diana’s orders and feeds on rats and other lower life forms until she gains our trust. Once she becomes one of us, she’ll hunt us and humanity will depend on Donovan’s strength to lead human revolution. Or something like that.

 

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Charisma Carpenter Wants You To Look At Her

In case you don’t remember who Charisma Carpenter is: She’s that chick who played some character in some show about some chick in highschool, who fucked vampires in order to kill them and had lots of lesbian friends just because. Or something like that. I’m not sure,

The point here, and this is important, is that this Charisma bitch was pretty hot back then; in fact, I’d go as far as to say that I know who Angelica Sin is, because I googled “Charisma Carpenter porn look alike”. So here’s a pic Charisma took of her own tits and posted on Instagram. I still prefer watching Angelica Sin’s over the top and obviously fake moans, but this is kinda great on its own right.

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Kayley Cuoco Is Friendly

Dating Superman must be a pain, even if it was just for six days or something like that. I’m sure Kayley is a nice chick and all, but this is just too sad. It’s pure logic: you can’t compete with Gina Carano, who isn’t fucking Henry Cavill anymore, but probably left her imprint on him.

My point is, after you dated Henry Cavill for less than a week, and your next step is doing duck faces and money shot faces with some random dudes, it means you’re losing it. She’ll end up sharing rooms with Amanda Bynes in the looney house or something. But there’s cleavage here, so fuck it.

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It’s Rihanna’s Ass Y’all

There are a few facts about Rihanna everyone should know:

One: If you punch her, she’ll love you for life because she’s “gangsta!”

Two: She barely speaks english

Three: She has an awesome ass and she needs to let everyone know she does. So she posted a picture of it on Instagram. This is one of those “meh” posts I make all the time, really. And that’s pretty much the whole point of this article. Is it important? Of course not. Does anyone care? Of course not. But it’s Rihanna’s butt in all its glory, so here’s the picture because if she ever farts my way i’d be sniffing.

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Farrah Abraham On Playboy (Not)

I’m actually a good person, so here is some advice for young women who dream aboout being famous. First of all, don’t get pregnant when you’re underaged and get into a crappy reality show. Second, if you decide to get into porn, don’t pretend it’s a leaked sex tape of you and a very well known porn actor. Third, when acting in a porn movie, repeating “Do you like your cock in my ass, baby?” throughout the whole film makes it boring. Fourth, after shooying the movie, don’t go buying pregnancy tests to make a big deal on how you might be the future mother of a Porn Star’s child, because here’s what happens:

When your agent goes to Playboy to get you a gig, they will tell him: “Go fuck yourself”, and then you’ll end up sucking homeless’ cocks to get some crack cocaine. You’re welcome.

Anyways, here’s Farrah Abraham in a bikini because fuck it, she has huge fake tits.

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